This is an assortment of reflections from my cross-country road trip. But by the numbers— I was on the road for 80 days, I stayed in 26 different states (14 of those states I had never been to), I stayed at 45 different places (most of them with friends and family, but some camping in my truck), and I put 12,000 miles on my truck. And by the facts— I didn’t get a ticket (well I did but I was able to dispute it), I didn’t get in an accident (ok I might have hit a mailbox and a tree going very slowly), I didn’t get a flat tire, nobody robbed me (I think) or followed me or raped me or murdered me, and 99% of the people I interacted with only had good intentions for me and supported me and wished me well. Here’s what I got from this experience:

Love and magic are everywhere. I enjoyed almost every place I visited. People were kind, the activities were interesting, and the culture and history made me want to learn more. It was such a blast getting to be a tourist in my own country and experience the nuances of regional cultures. I was hoping this road trip would narrow down what I enjoyed and hoped for, but it blasted open my horizons and helped me realize I can find happiness and fulfillment anywhere. What a beautiful fact to realize—although a little overwhelming, to be honest. What do I do based on that knowledge?

Almost everybody is truly kind. I swear, almost every single person I talked to was genuinely caring and friendly and sweet and friendly and supportive. The world is filled with good people. What a beautiful fact to realize.

STOP telling women that the world is not a safe place. Yes, I made good decisions and I could feel how many people were praying for me throughout my journey. But any woman could do what I did if they were not conditioned to think the world is full of people who want to hurt us.

Owning property is A LOT of work. It’s expensive and difficult to maintain, especially when people live alone, get old, have families, and finances aren’t always stable (AKA— it can become difficult for basically everybody). I think this is important to note because owning property is a dream for so many people (and it should be), but is your dream of land or a house sustainable? Who will help you maintain it? How difficult will it be to maintain? Are you financially and physically prepared to maintain it? Nuclear families who grow up to raise their own nuclear families do not make it easy to maintain property. Property that was once a dream, became sacred, and then was suddenly forgotten and run down. I saw this cycle over and over again on my trip. My road trip really made me think about cooperative living situations, where the load and the love are shared. I’m sure this will be a topic of further discourse.

A lot of my peers working corporate jobs in different places are lonely and not fulfilled. They were so envious of my trip, and it was depressing to see so many of my friends feeling trapped and defeated. They had done everything right, they had worked hard, they had received accolades, just to struggle to build community and spend hours at a job that doesn’t fire them up. I did two years of that and it was awful. Is that really how the world works? Because I’m pretty intent on not being a part of that world.

Many people are still trying to find their place. Part of the reason for my trip was to search for different homes, but I learned that there are a lot of people who don’t live in one place for multiple decades, and that home can be numerous places. That nothing needs to be permanent and that it’s normal to continue to seek new places. This removed a lot of pressure for me— I no longer needed to find “my place.” Instead, I found love and magic and welcoming homes pretty much everywhere. I can be anywhere for however long I want and I don’t need to assign any additional judgment.

Home is hard to leave and has an intense pull. See more in The Courage of Leaving Home and Coming Home.

People either 1) live in a touristy town, 2) are a tourist, or 3) live in a largely impoverished place. People 1) have chosen to live a nontraditional life, 2) travel to different places to escape the monotony of traditional life, or 3) have no choice on where they live and limited opportunity to travel. This is definitely going to be a future rant and there is more to unpack, but those are pretty much the choices we have on how we choose to build our lives. This was an astute realization for me.

There are so many different types of lifestyles. Nuclear families, extended families, roommates, living alone, 9-5 jobs, temporary jobs, how free time is spent, who sleeps where, what they typically eat, I could go on. There was so much diversity in how people live and it was so fun to experience that. There’s no wrong way to live. Again, what a beautiful fact to realize.

Regional pride is a real thing, which was hilarious and sweet. “You can’t leave so soon! There’s so much to see and do! You have to come back!” I’m glad that people think so highly of where they live, but because everyone thinks that, it becomes a little less special (not in a negative way, but in a kind of ironic and silly way). Humans are so tribal and proud. We’re adorable.

Driving during an election and during the holidays was great. So many fun and hilarious and weird signs and decorations. My favorite was from a local auto shop in Maine: “Pumpkin spice oil is back! Get yours today!”

As a general tip: it’s better to understay than to overstay… I’d like to be invited back, right?? Gotta leave ‘em wanting more, right??

Pets make a home a home. I got to cuddle with so many sweet animals and every time I arrived at a place without a cat or dog, it felt like there was a hole. Of course, there are lots of reasons for not having animals, but it was interesting to notice how different I felt when animals were not present.

Solo road trips are a tad exhausting and expensive and draining. Gas is a lot of money. Restaurants cost a lot. Souvenirs must be budgeted for. I wasn’t in a single place for more than 5 days for 80 days. My body fell apart. I got sick. I was tired of not knowing where to go or what to do and being in an unfamiliar place alone in a truck 20+ hours from home. Cooking good food was difficult. Trucks get unorganized very quickly. No stop is perfect— there’s always more to see or do. Being a good guest requires a lot of social energy. Being alone was weird and lonely at times too. I was either socially drained or lonely and it was frustrating that I couldn’t find an in-between. I was really pooped and overwhelmed by the time I got home, in the best ways and hard ways.

This trip was like ordering a Frappucino or some fluffy Starbucks drink. I would only have enough time to lick the whipped cream off the top without actually being able to drink the damn drink. I was dipping my toes in the water in so many places without getting to submerge. It was frustrating, but now I have so many places to explore further in the future and so much more knowledge on what and how to explore them, which is exciting. I’ll get to finish the drink at some point.

Thanks for listening to this one. You should go on a solo road trip, especially you, ladies.

I took a picture at every place I slept. Below are some of those images!